Readers, I've been kind of dizzy lately. Is Lisa Niles a brilliant and confident surgeon, or an obsessed maniacal stalker? It's hard for me to know because I can't reconcile the things she does from day to day.
One day she runs into a fire and saves Robin's life, and the next day tries to kill her by injecting something into her I.V. Why didn't she just keep driving when she saw the fire if she wanted Robin dead? Or save only Emma and say she couldn't get to Robin? Why would you save someone's life just to try to murder them the next day, when the fire would have accomplished the same goal and been ruled an accident?
It makes no sense. But, since Brianna Brown has indeed signed another one-year contract with GH, we know she's not going anywhere anytime soon. She hasn't reached the Heather Weber level of crazy yet, but she's certainly dancing with it. According to the letters I've gotten this week, viewers both hate and love the fact that she keeps getting away with things, sometimes in equal measure.
I got a letter yesterday from a reader named Karen who said the thing that's most upsetting to her is what a wuss Steve Webber has become as chief of staff, and how his Grandpa certainly wouldn't have put up with Lisa and Robin's shenanigans in his day. Okay, she didn't really say wuss or shenanigans, but I like those two words, so consider this more a paraphrase than a quote.
But for me, the big hole in the plot was the sudden alliance between Johnny Zacharra and Lisa. Seriously, how many months did the writers have to rewind their TiVo to come up with that lame reference? So because Johnny asked Lisa to convict Sonny when he was on trials months ago, now he's okay with helping her cover up an attempted murder by disposing of her poison syringe?
Johnny might have some criminal leanings, but of all the mobsters in Port Charles, he's the least ruthless. He wanted to chuck it all and give piano lessons to kids, if you recall. I can't see Johnny being so loyal to Lisa, whom he barely knows, that he'd cover up the fact she tried to kill Robin. I'm having a hard time swallowing that particular bait the writers have dropped to hook me on their absurd storyline.
With that having been said -- sure, it's full of holes, but at least Lisa is entertaining, so I don't want it to seem like I wish they'd scrap it. Far from it -- I want them to rehabilitate Lisa and keep her around for years, and we'll be wondering when she's going to fall back over the edge of sanity.
Perceptive reader Lee wrote me this week and pointed out that I was pretty harsh about Robin. Guilty as charged. I suppose I've been holding a grudge against Robin since she told AJ he was Michael's Dad. Yeah, yeah, I know it was the right thing to do, but I still hated her for doing it. I have a hard time with people who decide what's best for other people and take over their lives. I know lots of people's secrets and never once did it cross my mind to go and "out" any of them. Why would someone do that?
But I will take a step back and consider Robin anew per Lee's request. Robin is very loyal to her friends; she has lived with HIV for years with grace and honesty. She has done charity work on behalf of AIDS, she's a good doctor, and she forgave her parents for abandoning her and faking their deaths. Robin does have redeeming qualities. She's not a bad person; she's just a person I wouldn't want to hang out with.
Last week, the Port Charles residents who genuinely love Robin tried to tell her to back off because her rants made Lisa look like the sane one, but Robin couldn't help herself - she kept ranting...'Nuff said. On the other hand, when she's at 'Girls Night Out,' I like her; maybe she should stay drunk more. And, she's lighter with Brenda around - I liked the scenes where the two of them reminisced about the past, but I wish they had used more old flashbacks scenes the two shared when they were younger.
My mail this week was filled with letters that had the same theme throughout, which I will sum up for you in three words "Worst Sweeps Ever." General Hospital has set the bar for their big sweeps week plots pretty high and this year's crop of storylines has left everyone wondering if they're watching the right show.
We still don't know who the Balkan is, Sonny and Brenda still haven't kissed (but will on Monday), Lucky still doesn't know that Aiden is his son, Luke and Tracy have not remarried. The month is ticking away and all the loose ends are still loose. I just hope that once we find out who the Balkan is that he's not a total letdown. At least make him an interesting villain like Caesar Faison, who was so charming/creepy I was half in love with him and afraid of him all at once.
Is Claire really gone? I'm not sure. I haven't heard anything about Dahlia Salem leaving, and I hope she sticks around - she was an awfully good foil for Diane and Alexis, so even if the storyline dictates that she can't be a Fed anymore, she could still practice law, right?
And speaking of Alexis, is it just me or has she been in short supply lately? People talk about Alexis and Kristina, but I haven't seen much of them. Nancy Lee Grahn is a gold mine of talent, and if they don't use her when they have her available - that's just foolish. Alexis is connected to most of the people in town in one form or another, and I hope we see more of her soon. I still like my idea that Mac has to move in with her until his house is rebuilt. Sure, it's a cheesy soap device designed to bring two people together, but I would suspend my disbelief to see their romance unfold, wouldn't you?
As for Kristina, a few of you wrote me to express your shock that after finding absolute proof that Sonny tried to blow up Johnny, Kristina ran into his arms and forgave him. Well readers, it's like this - she was finally willing to accept responsibility for her part in the incident. Kristina fake dated Johnny to push Sonny's buttons and -they got pushed. Looking back on that time and seeing all the damage her game caused, she was willing to forgive and be forgiven for her part in it too.
That's how redemption and forgiveness works - we see the worst in one another yet choose to believe that person can regret their past actions and change for the better because of it. Kristina accepted the notion that Sonny did a bad thing (set a car bomb) but for a really good reason (to try to protect his daughter from a thug he thought was hurting and using her). So in my opinion, that scene worked and was in fact extremely touching.
Does it irk you as much as it does me that Elizabeth is suddenly Lucky's big protector from Siobhan? Every time she says "I just don't want you to get hurt again," I scream at my TV, "If you didn't want him to get hurt, why did you sleep with his brother?"
What bothers me most is that I really like the dynamic between Lucky and Siobhan, and I figure that just about the time the two of them really settle into a relationship is when Liz will discover Aiden is Lucky's kid and will blow Lucky and Siobhan's budding new romance apart. I hope I'm wrong. I hope Lucky says, "Great! I have a son, and Siobhan is going to be his new step-mommy." But I realize I'm dreaming! When the catfight eventually comes (and it will), my money is on Siobhan -- she's pretty scrappy in a fight.
There's a difference between being scrappy and just being mean. Carly has gotten to the point where I can barely find anything I like about her. She used to be one of my favorite characters. Carly has spent most of the past several months working on her revenge plot against Dante and Lulu and has now decided to get revenge on Brenda for...existing?
Carly spends her days digging up dirt on people to try to wreck their lives. Why does a nice guy like Jax love her? I have no idea. She's not really all that lovable. In the past, she has been strong and loyal and the best friend anyone could have -- but when she says she wants to destroy Dante for Michael, and Michael himself has begged her to stop -- it's clear she isn't doing it for Michael, she's doing it for her own sick need to get even with Dante for something he instantly regretted. Carly is at odds with everyone on the show, it seems, and it's just not fun to watch her purposely wreck people's lives. I'd rather see her and Olivia make up and start their own business - maybe they could start a "How to Date a Mobster" website dating service!
Readers, I have been hurt in life, and I can tell you with a clear conscience that I do not want revenge on any of those people. I do not wish bad things on them. I don't understand people who do, either. Carly! Go home. Decorate for Christmas. Take care of Josslyn. Take Morgan out of the closet he's apparently been locked in since Aaron Revfem left. (By the way, did ya'll see Aaron on House last week? Amazing. And Amber Tamblyn as House's new intern? Brilliant. Double bonus week for GH alumni!) Chill, Carly.
On the romance side, we have a few budding and re-blooming romances to discuss. Maxie kissed Spinelli; does it mean we can hope for a Christmas time Spixie reunion? I think it's time because, frankly, those two characters are much more interesting together -which is true of all great couples. They are better when they are together than they are when they are apart. Here's hoping.
Michael and Allie get closer every time they meet - I think if Michael ever tells anyone what really happened to him in prison, it will be Allie. And I hope he does tell her and that GH deals with it in a real way. I'm sure there are GH viewers who have had a rape/molestation trauma in their lives (although probably not in prison) who would deeply value the show addressing the issue meaningfully.
And on the other end of the spectrum, we have Maya and Ethan, who are only in it for the money -- but I predict will fall in love for real before they year is up. Okay, with a show of hands (or e-mails), how many of you would stay married to someone you weren't especially crazy about for a year if you got paid a million bucks at the other end? Count me as one for "Yes."
And then there's Luke and Tracy.... Do I even need to say it? If you've been reading my column for any length of time, you will know I am an unabashed Luke and Laura fan who is still (foolishly) waiting for them to reunite. If Luke goes through with Tracy's bullying and marries her on Laura's birthday, my head may explode.
Beloved readers, as we enter this Thanksgiving week, I want you to know how truly thankful I am for all of you - for the letters and tweets you send, for your encouraging and kind words about my writing, for the times you have expressed you hearts to me and shared the trials and joys of your real lives. You amaze me! I am especially thankful for the handful of you that I am honored to count as my real honest to goodness friends. God bless.
What will happen tomorrow, dear readers? Will Maxie give up working for Kate to open her own salon, where you can get a new hairstyle daily for a monthly flat fee? Will Lulu see why Dante was so understanding about her abortion once she finds out he has some secret baby somewhere? Will Claire give Ronnie a roll in the hay before she gets reassigned so he can finally calm down after some sexual healing? Will the Quartermaines get anchovies on their Thanksgiving pizza? Will Epiphany get Molly and Kristina to wear the elf costumes for the GH Christmas season?
