This week we saw history rewritten as Craig was, once again, blamed for killing his son. And if that wasn't enough to make you crazy, the fact that an enormous amount of screen time was given to a batch of newcomers, mourning a secondary character's death, should have sent you over the edge with me.
No disrespect to Janet's father, but she didn't even like the guy for the last 18 years, so why are we forced to sit through her dysfunctional family gathering to mourn him? I like Janet and don't mind watching her grief scenes, and the grief it is subsequently causing Carly, but I don't want to see any more newbies. There are plenty of longtime folks in Oakdale I want to see involved in storylines! That list does not include Gabriel, Janet's aunt and brother, and Teri. I want to see Margo, Katie, Tom, Casey, Chris, Kim, Susan, Bob, Lisa, Barbara, Paul, and Emily, in addition to the normal front-burner folks we see. I think we can all agree that the canvas is already crowded. I am disappointed that the show is using what precious little time is left to force me to watch characters I don't care about.
As for Craig, I've lost count of the number of times I've had to address Bryant's death in my column and defend Craig, but here we go again. It seems newcomer Gabriel has a chip on his shoulder about Craig and blames him for Bryant's death, too. I don't know why the writers keep beating this dead horse? I feel like I need to send them some old tapes of the scenes when Bryant died, because clearly whatever plot Bible they are using, is incorrect.
So, please, anyone from CBS who is reading this, correct your plot book! For the 100th time, Craig WAS NOT responsible for Bryant's death. Bryant caught his girlfriend, Jennifer Munson, sleeping with his best friend and cousin, Billy Ross. She had refused to sleep with Bryant for months, so obviously, he was devastated that the woman he loved lost her virginity to his cousin. Bryant tried to call his dad to talk to him, but Craig missed the call. (Tragic but not a sin.) Bryant jumped in his car, did not fasten his seatbelt, and sped away. He crashed into a tree and died. It had NOTHING to do with Craig. So, please, stop blaming the guy for his son's death! Craig has plenty of actual crimes to take the blame for: kidnapping his own daughter, trying to blow up Steve Andropolous, stealing from Parker, etc., but Bryant's death is not one of them.
While on the topic of sore subjects, I'd like to tackle the unbelievable plot of a teen-aged boy besting Craig Montgomery and blackmailing him for thousands of dollars. Not likely! Craig is practically known for his business tactics and shrewdness. The Craig I know and love would never have let a teenaged punk or a so-called accountant, for that matter, get the best of him.
Another silly plot that has me rolling my eyes is Vienna's desperation to hold on to Henry and have a baby. We sat through this already more than a year ago, but it seems Vienna is once again being written as a woman on a sexual mission, who is blind to see that the man she desires no longer feels the same way. I hope this time she doesn't resort to poking holes in the condoms again. Vienna needs to move on and return to the smart, savvy girl we first met. It's clear to everyone, except her, that Henry is not in love with her anymore. This woman used to be sharp. What happened? Did too much pepparkakor cause her to lose brain cells? I fear that once again Vienna is going to have a runaway groom.
Moving on with my rant, can Paul please stop being mean to his mother? I know it's good drama, but it makes me a little crazy that he's calling his mama a cougar and a cradle robber, when his own wife was hitting the sheets with a teenaged Casey not long ago. Not to mention the fact that, back when Paul and Emily first hooked up, he was barely out of school and she was the older woman who seduced him. So, Paul, cut Barbara some slack. She's hot and lonely. If she wants to date a younger guy, I say go for it.
Okay, I'm stepping off my soapbox. Rant complete.
Meanwhile:
• Carly and Craig fans, I hear you. Thanks for all the emails this week telling me how much you love them together and how much you enjoyed their massage scenes. I did, too. He finally apologized for his affair with Rosanna. I've always been a fan of Craig and Carly, whether they were simply business partners or lovers, but it's a tough call, because the minute she looks at Jack, we all know where her heart is. Craig and Carly are both devious and selfish, so on paper they seem like a perfect fit. They are two very flawed individuals. I know the compass is pointing toward a Jack and Carly happily-ever-after, but I hope Carly and Craig will remain best pals and business partners, even after this scheme with Parker comes to light. I hope Carly remembers that she once was a thief, too.
• If Ali is meant to end up with a guy, I want to put my vote in right now for Chris. They have so much history, and I don't think she really ever got over him. They have much more chemistry than she and Casey.
• If the writers are trying to confuse me with Henry's love life, they've done it. Bravo! Just when I think they are pointing him toward a happy ending with Barbara, we get thrown some strong Katie scenes with plenty of subtext. For example, this week when Vienna walked in and saw Katie and Henry reminiscing about their gym wedding, it was clear she still saw their bond. Then, Henry saw Katie wearing a man's coat, and got completely flustered as he squawked, "Whose, whose, coat is that? " Then, Katie was running around talking about how she wishes people could see what was right in front of their faces (romantically). So, I'm not sure if Katie and Henry have such a connection that scenes that aren't meant to come across as romantic, just do, or if their scenes are written that way. All I know is that when it's played out, there is some underlying sexual tension going on with those two, with Katie being irate at Barbara and Henry being jealous and constantly doing what Katie asks. (Hello Brad Snyder Memorial Wing.) Maybe Katie and Henry are going to end up together after all.
• -- I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually enjoyed the Reid and Luke scenes at the country bar. And no, it wasn't because they were riding a bull. Reid is one of my favorite characters to ever hit Oakdale, but I'll be honest, Luke has proven to be one of my least favorite. But I'll take this ride with them. I hope this doesn't mean we won't see any more of Noah, though.
• Here's my shallow comment of the week. Dusty Donovan is looking good! I love the hair. But boy did his hair grow out quickly after having surgery and that bullet removed from his head. I think he may have beaten Barbara's record.
Best Lines of the Week:
(Carly opens up to Craig about her fight with Janet.)
Carly: "Maybe I did go a little overboard."
Craig: "With what, attacking a pregnant woman whose father just had a heart attack and whose daughter has cancer?"
Carly: " Thank you, Craig. I can always count on you to make me feel worse than I already do."
(Paul is still upset that his mother is sleeping with his half-brother, Henry.)
Barbara: "Henry is barely your half-brother."
Paul: "Oh well, that only makes it like half creepy I guess."
Reader Spotlight:
That's all for now, Scoopers! See ya next time.
Jennifer Biller
